There’s a famous old saying which bleats, β€œtime heals everything”. There is much truth to that, because as time passes and those negative emotions like anger and bitterness which shroud most break ups dissipate, people typically calm down and more normal, calm and logical discussions may be had.
Clearly, there is a right time and a wrong time to talk about the problems that you and your ex faced in the relationship, and the steps that could, possibly, be taken to fix them with a view to a spectacular reconciliation.
When both of you are in a calmer place, here are some tips to help you talk better with your ex.
Plan Your First Talk Or Meeting. Don’t just stumble and bumble in, and say any old nonsense that appears in your head. You need to appear logical, and thoughtful. You need to appear sensitive and genuine without seeming to be a pushover. That’s a remarkably hard balance to strike. It involves understanding your own unique situation, the causes of discontent and a way to address them with the utmost sensitivity.
Keep Your Emotions In Check And Your Voice Calm – No matter what the conversation, or how difficult it might appear to talk about, a calm voice will help things along far better than yelling, screaming or agitation. If you had a history of shouting when arguing then this is one thing you can quickly turn into a positive – by remaining calm you’re communicating to your ex that you’ve learned to curb that temper of yours. Similarly, if your ex had a history of getting excited and raising their voice, a polite request asking them to remain calm during the conversation might work – if they really want to try and patch things up, they will almost certainly try their best to stay calm during your first talk.
Leave The Door Open – In the heat of it all, people often resort to taunts and insults during break ups. If you did such a thing, then why not call your ex and leave a simple message – let them know that you regretted saying whatever nasty things you did, that you would like to talk about things, but if not you’d still like to salvage a friendship. At the very least this lets your ex know that the door is open if they want to reconcile, and even if not friendship is an option (and you really never know what that may lead to). Give yourself, and your relationship every chance to survive.
Many times, poor communication can be one of the underlying causes of a break up. However, by improving your communication and knowing exactly what to say, and how to say it can be one of the most important tools you’ll ever possess for getting your relationship back on the straight and narrow.


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